I feel really let down. I feel like a wastrel. I have delayed my efforts. I feel self doubted.
I spent almost 8-9 months, on two papers (for which I was the second author) and coding in C/C++ for even proof of Idea. The result was, I ended up being a programmer :(
I could have achieved so much more. I can at least confess that the past 6 months have been a super unproductive time. I feel like I was a short-sighted amateur researcher, who could not have known better.
Hopefully the next 6 weeks, before new years will be at least useful and productive in terms of experimentation.
Here goes my nights of sleep and peace of mind.
I won't be able to rest till I see the light at the end of this tunnel.
Will I be able to meet SIGIR deadline? God only knows